I Am Dangerous

I have spent the last two days reading Hyperbole and a Half. I am in love and inspired. I think it's time for a format change. I haven't written in most of a year. Why? Because I take myself way too seriously obviously. Clearly I'm a pretty funny person and completely hilarious things happen around me all the time. So I'm going to write about that. And I'm still going to use photographs. So I'm changing and not changing all at the same time.

I'm going to start with this picture:

It is of my new haircut. It is also of my crazy eyes.

I love my new haircut.

But I also love my crazy eyes. Not because of their awesomeness, which is obvious. But because they show how I feel most of the time. Crazy.

Also, look at this picture:

Who here really thinks that can of bear repellant will really "repel" the 400 pound bear? Yeah, I don't think so either. "Hello. I'm a giant Grizzly Bear. I weigh a million pounds. Your little can is sooooo scary. You have no idea. Really. You have no idea how much I Do Not Care About Your Little Can of Nothing Scary."

Here is a picture of the bear:

He is huge. He doesn't care about your bear "repellant". He is also eating an elk.

Here he is again:

He is taking a breath to tell that raven to eff off.

Here he is after eating that entire elk:

He is so full his leg sticks up in the air.

"Hi, I'm a Grizzly Bear. I weight a million pounds. Especially after eating an entire elk. Eff you, ravens."

And here he is looking all cute like he's not about to eat your face off if you get one foot closer to him:

Don't those claws just say, "Come here and give me a hug"?

If you said "Yes" to that question, let me know. I have the number of a great therapist.